Keys to Managing Conflict
The true test of your etiquette skills comes not from dealing with people who are polite but from dealing with those who are rude.
When you're in such a test, try everything you can before taking it to the higher level. Don't generalize or label the person, as in "he's just lazy." You need to give the person a chance to correct it or to explain it.
Before going directly to the person, map out the pros and cons for giving in and the possibility of other alternatives. Find a time and a place that both of you can be alone, comfortable, and undisturbed to tackle to the conflict. Stay calm and stay focus and don't blame or name call. Propose your solution and hear out the person's opinion and try to develop a mutual solution then take action.
You might have to agree to disagree and might want to take the discussion with someone at a higher level if the matter is important enough to you or significant enough for the organization.
Coping with Prickly Personalities
Sometimes some people just refuse to behave in a constructive fashion, flatout bitches or jerks and you cannot force anyone to do anything. All you can do is give it your best shot.
Limit actual contact with a bully by communicating via email or memos and repeat what you want from a bully like a broken record to be assertive and firm. It can be helpful to get allies who agree with you regarding a problem.
If a person keeps refusing to discuss with you, you can just tell the non-combatant what you'll do next with or without the person's input or warn that you may take the problem to a supervisor.
If a complainer keeps complaining about the same problem over and over again, make him/her promise you to try your suggested solution and you'll reevaluate it in a later date and if the complainer complaining to you about another person, show your concern then ask the complainer to confront the person he has a problem with.
A conspiracy victim takes any criticism personal and will attack the validity of source of complaints about him/her. Emphasize YOU consider the issue a problem and YOU want to solve it, no one else.
